Life's Blessings

My heart is very full this day. A week ago Monday, some dear friends of ours welcomed into this world a little daughter. She was born with underdeveloped lungs and only lived for a few hours. Today was her funeral and what a wonderful experience this was. I am so grateful to be a member of the  LDS church. One of our key beliefs is that we lived before this Earth in heaven and that after we die we will live again. We will be able to live eternally with our families. As I saw this precious little ones body, I truly could feel that her spirit was not there but with our father in heaven and with her family members there.

As I have done a lot of thinking and crying this past week for our dear friends, I have come to realize that like all things in life there are blessings. Yes, even blessings in death.

I don't even want to try to state that I understand what our friends are going through  How can someone? I do know, however, what it feels like to have someone close to you die. My grandfather died my senior year in high school. I remember as we where driving home after the funeral having a very intense desire to see and hug my grandfather again. Right then, I determined to do all I can so that when I die I will have lived a righteous life and be able to see and live with my Grandfather again. This is a blessing of death-A very real reminder and motivator to live a righteous life.

Another blessing from death is a grateful heart. When I first heard the news of this little ones passing I was reminded of the birth of our youngest, my son. When he was born he came out not breathing. I had a lot of fluid and he aspirated (breathed fluid into his lungs) when he took his first breath. It was a heart stopping, what seemed like five minutes, before we heard him utter his first cry. He then continued for the next few hours struggling with his ability to keep his oxygen saturation up and ended up in the NBICU. It was a good twelve hours before we were blessed with the knowledge that all would be well. How grateful we were to be blessed with the privilege of raising our son.

As I reflected on this, at a time when our dear friends were not blessed with that same privilege, I couldn't imagine how it would have been if things had been differently for us. I truly couldn't understand how they must be feeling. Some part of me felt guilty that at this time I was grateful my son had lived. I have come to realize though that this is the blessing of death to those who are comforting they that mourn. We are blessed with a greater appreciation for the loved ones we have and thus in turn a chance to give them our love more abundantly.

As I was preparing for the funeral this morning my son woke up and wanted to be rocked. A waking up routine I cherish. I put on a Jon Schmidt CD my parents had just given me for my birthday and we rocked and I cried. So grateful to be able to hold my precious baby. As I rocked I was grateful. Grateful for a knowledge that families are eternal. This knowledge is what would have sustained me if we had lost our son and I know is what sustains our dear friends as they go through this trial.