The Fishpond: Be Still My Heart

Thursday, February 28, 2013

Be Still My Heart

Yesterday, the neighbors across the street from us, moved. Yes, this is the neighbor that has a boy whom my son plays with any chance he can. Now their house sits empty and I feel a pang of sadness. I am happy for them. It is a good move for them but just sad to see them go. Some neighbors it is just harder to see leave. I kind of feel like a chapter of our lives has just ended.

I am currently planning birthday celebrations for three of my kids. Milestone birthdays this year.

The baby turns one. It's funny how when you are right in the midst of sleepless nights, millions of diaper changes, feeding frustrations, crying, constant chaos, endless worries if she is ok? Am I doing this right? Just making it to the next day seems a constant battle. Now, I wonder where has the time gone and I find myself already missing a stage of life that I know will never be again.

Bud Boy is turning five. We received notice about Kindergarten registration the other day. NO! my buddy can't be heading to kindergarten already. I am going to miss having him around all the time. It's not like I haven't had others head off to school. This one just seems harder.

My oldest is turning sixteen. Words could never express my feelings about this. Life with our kids at home is so short! She is now starting on the path toward one day when she will be married and raising her own family.

Life truly is tugging at my heart strings lately. So many chapters of life coming to an end.

I have had a hard time finding the desire to blog lately. Before I started blogging, I remember reading some pretty popular blogs and being amazed at the number of followers they had. So many comments. When I first started there was a brief moment of "what if mine became one of those". Don't we all, being human, think that? I soon came to realize that I really didn't have a desire anymore for that to happen. The pressure to keep up a great blog wasn't something I wanted in my life. Mostly I blogged as a way to stay connected with close family and friend and to keep a record for our family.

Lately, I've wandered in trying to decided what I want to write about. I have succumb to thinking what I do isn't that special. I don't have anything unique to write about. I don't write well and can't seem to remember any grammar rules lately. It's not funny. I can't draw something inspirational from an everyday event. Why would anybody want to read, that? Most days I just choose to do something else when I have a free moment. Like read.

You know in books when one chapter ends....... another begins! So it is with our lives.

While some stages are ending, new chapters are beginning.

Our neighbors didn't move too far away so will be able to maintain some contact. It will just be different. Their house will soon be filled with new neighbors which hopefully means new friends.

My youngest has so many new things to learn. Can't wait to hear her talking! Plus, having independent kids who sleep through the night really is all it's chalked up to be.

I'm excited to hear the everyday joys of Kindergarten.

Dating and driving, dances, boys, ACT, thrills of college acceptance letters, scholarships, graduation. I can't wait to share these fun times!

And, of course, I have this blog to keep a record of it all. For after all that's why I started blogging.

Let's just hope looking back on memories isn't too hard on my heart (thanks goodness a good cry usually helps).

2 comments:

The LymansFebruary 28, 2013 at 3:21 PM
Keep blogging. I love your blog! Mine isn't interesting to anyone except me, but it is the only journal I am keeping up and I'm hoping my kids will appreciate it in years to come.
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JennyMarch 1, 2013 at 1:56 PM
It is incredibly hard when friends move. Bud Boy was so lucky to have a good friend so close by and I'm glad that he's still close enough to play.

I second The Lymans, keep blogging (when you can)! Your words often uplift me, like these ones that reminded me that when one chapter ends, another begins.

Good luck with the birthday prep and hope everyone has special days!
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Thanks for commenting!

I should write that down

"Shut up and listen to what I meant", Minnie
I asked Princess if we should go watch Minnie unwrap her presents. After hearing presents,Princess said, "Ho, Ho, Ho"
While traveling home from Kindergarten Bud Boy told his dad, "School gives you something to do while you wait for lunch."
Tator commented, "I thought dad was weed hacking and you were going to mow." Mom replied, "He is probably just getting the lawn mower ready." Tator then replied, "or he's scaring a cat."
Important decisions need prayer!! Heavenly Father can answer our prayers with a Yes, No, or Maybe So. "When He answers yes, it is to give us confidence. When He answers no, it is to prevent error. When He withholds an answer, it is to have us grow through faith in Him, obedience to His commandments, and a willingness to act on truth. We are expected to assume accountability by acting on a decision that is consistent with His teachings without prior confirmation. We are not to sit passively waiting or to murmur because the Lord has not spoken. We are to act." Elder Richard G. Scott
Our home teachers shared a lesson on being thankful. After the lesson he said this is important, even for the wee ones. Bud Boy pipes up, "I love the Wii!"
Bud Boy is showing mom how Tator just hurt his arm. After showing her all the ways he can no longer move it he then says, "and this is the arm that does the remote."
We overheard Bud Boy trying to sing the lyrics to Check Yes or No by George Strait. "Do you Love me? Try guessing No"
Bud was asked to pick the song for FHE. He said I want to sing, "Follow the Prophet, Follow the Prophet, Don't go straight....."
"Mom, we're on the free way. That means you can go whatever speed you want. It doesn't matter. What matters is that you keep driving" Bud Boy
"I've seen Avengers 20 times. Wait a minute. Am I just making things up? I do that sometimes." Bud Boy
Bud Boy said to his sister, "You're a toilet". She said, "that is so rude". He then said, "Okay you're a couch"
When Bud Boy heard the song Call Me Maybe on the radio he yelled, "it's the song where she says Just give me a banana ; call me, maybe."
Bud Boy was listening to music on the ipod, "Mom it's the song where the guy plays the piano and the other one plays the Jell-O!"
After watching the Olympics, we overheard Tator saying( while playing with Barbies): "And she sticks the landing; no wobbly bobblies."
After going under his bed, in an attempt to retrive some toys, Bud Boy said, "I have a slight problem. I can't breathe under there."
Bud Boy said, "This is the bread I want, it's wheed bread."
While going through the clean laundry on the couch Jolly J exclaimed, "Quit sitting on the laundry! Now my clothes smell like butt."
Tator asked, "Dad what time does bedtime even start?" Dad replies 8 o'clock. Tator then says, "that's why we go to bed at 8."
Jolly J said to her sister, while counting up her game score, "You made me count to neven and I don't even know what letter that is."
I overheard Tator singing, "Adam was a prophet. First one that we know. He was called to Egypt."
Karebear was showing us that the outside lining of her lunchbox had a hole in it. Teasingly Dad said. "What, you expect us to buy you a new lunch box every year?" Bud Boy piped up, "You can just use a paper sack."
The song, Live Like You Were Dying, was on the radio. After hearing the line, "I loved deeper", Tator asks, "Why does he love big bird?"
Grandpa F often gives the girls money after attending a game they have played in. We went bowling as an extended family. After Bud Boy finished bowling he went up to Grandpa, held out his hand and said, "I had a game."
Karebear stated that "Dad was using his frustrated words" while working on the car.
Bud Boy asked mom to look in his eye because it was hurting. While inspecting he looked at mom's eyes and said, "Mom your eyes are starting to crack."
While driving Jolly J asks, "What does prindel mean?" We figured out she was looking at the gear shift (PRND3L).
Tator sits down with her plate of roast beef, mashed potatoes and gravy, and a roll at Sunday dinner. " Mom, this is like food from the olden days!"
Bud Boy is 22 your favorite number? "Yeah, it's a high number"
Hearing my son call out, "Amer-i-caw flag" every time he sees the flag.
Bud Boy claiming, "It is tomorrow" whenever we talk about doing something tomorrow.
After watching the news Tator asked, "Do we get tormadeos?"
While licking the beater Tator said, "Mom, Santa must really like you" Why? "Because you make good recipes!"
Bud Boy gets in the van and states, "Hot! I can't breed"
After hearing someone burb Bud Boy said, "Ha, Ha I do that too!"
Tator asked, "Mom, how long have you been married? " After answering she then asked, "How long has daddy been married?"
"I'm going to make my bed. That's a great idea and great ideas give you power!" Bud Boy
When we ask Bud Boy something and he doesn't know he says, as he shakes his head, "I can't know."
"We don't discover humility by thinking less of ourselves; we discover humility by thinking less about ourselves." Dieter F. Uchtdorf
After putting on his tie Bud Boy exclaimed, "I look like daddy's age!"
Bud Boy's current favorite song is Tinkle, Tinkle little star. Up b b b the world so high.
Tator comes into the room where Bud Boy is attempting to stand on his head. "Bud Boy I can see your butt crack. Mom, What's a butt crack?"
As we pull out of the garage to take the girls to school, Bud Boy states, "Good-bye house, we'll see you soon."
After watching her dad dance Minnie asks, "Is that a dance from the 80's?"