The Father of the Ward

My husband served for three years in the Young Mens before he was called as bishop. Part of his responsibilities was once a week him leaving our family to do activities with a bunch of 12-18 year old boys. It also meant camp outs. Most of the time these were a Friday night and Saturday morning deal.  Every summer it was for three or four days. I hated this. I hated having my husband gone.

When my husband was first called as bishop I basically expressed that I didn't see why he needed to go up on youth night. He was not a leader any more. My husband insisted that this was part of his responsibilities and I, like a good wife, supported even though I really didn't understand or like it.

One of the other things he also does is bishop's candy. This means each Sunday hoards of kids gather around his office for a treat. Of course this also means someone has to buy this candy. Yep, you guessed who- me. When I voiced my frustrations, which mostly stemmed around the fact that it was my kids that got lots of candy, my husband patiently said something about building relationships. Whatever, but again I supported. Thankfully, over the years things have toned down a little, for a variety of reasons , and it's no longer every Sunday.

Recently in a discussion on repentance it was shared how some people, especially the youth, feel like if they feel they have repented and been forgiven it isn't necessary to talk with a priesthood authority ie the bishop. For some mistakes this is a requirement and a vital step. As I listened, I thought I'm sure this idea stems from the fact that going to a bishop can be scary and people just want to avoid this uncomfortable situation.

How much easier is it to find the courage to go to a bishop when that person is familiar? When you know he his friendly, when you know he truly cares, when you know he wont judge you, when you know he will keep your confidence. I realized how can you know that about someone unless you have spent time around that person.

I know there are more reason than just this but this is one reason why my husband, and most bishops, spend time with people; especially the youth. Those young men my husband worked with as a leader and keep working with as a bishop know him. The primary kids that come to get candy know him. He knows their names and often things about them personally for he takes time to shake their hand and talk with them as they come in for a treat. Now granted he most likely wont be their bishop when they are older (at least I hope so). But they are learning a bishop is a friend.

I remember when my husband's name was presented as the the new bishop of the ward the outgoing bishop remarked, "I don't know why they keep calling these young bishops, with young families".  For awhile this  bothered me, the fact that we were a young family. The bishops I remember growing up were older. I would often see them accompanied by their wife at baptisms, funerals, weddings. I read stories where people going through trials had "their bishop and their wife" come visit them. I often was not able to accompany my husband. I needed to be at home with my young children. I felt like I was missing out and in some small way not doing what I was supposed to as a bishop's wife. (As if there is some set of responsibilities for a bishop wife). The fact was we where a young family and my responsibility was to take care of that family so he could fulfill his calling.

I don't know why he was called as a bishop now but I do know that the youth he is associating with are kids that grew up with our girls. Many of them have been in our home, playing with our girls. Those girls know him as a dad. It is just another way he is able to be familiar.

The time my husband spends getting to know people hopefully with help in the repentance process but far more reaching will be the fact they he is someone they can respect and trust because they know him. The counsel, guidance, encouragement he gives through everyday interactions will be meaningful because they know he truly cares.